Time Travel in the Bible?

Ok, so here’s me indulging my outrageous brainwaves again…

I’ve always imagined a very logical explanation for the existence of a man who was, without contest, one of the greatest socio-political geniuses that was ever chronicled: Jesus Christ.

It is no doubt that the impression made by the stories of his short and eventful life completely deflected the, otherwise gradual, tangent of human civilization and probably led things in a rather different and enlightened path.

There’s definitely contest over whether he existed or not… or even if he did, whether he performed the miracles so often associated with his life and death. But for the purposes of this piece, I am going to imagine that he actually did live… but maybe not as was famously chronicled.

Imagine if somewhere, sometime in the distant future, time travel was actually discovered and perfected. That someone, or a small elite group of “enlightened ones” controlled this technology and an immense amount of knowledge as well. Imagine also that, in this distant future, medical technology had advanced to a point where certain healing techniques that had become common place in that future society would seem like miracles to us.

Imagine if, from time to time, these “enlightened ones” could teleport back in time, and say, appear to a virgin named “Mary”… or to a bunch of Sheperds at night. Imagine if these “enlightened ones” teleported an embryo into Mary’s womb… and then monitored the progress of the fetus.

Imagine that when this kid had grown and was an adult and had wondered into the wilderness to be “tempted by the devil” that these “enlightened ones” came to “minister to him” briefing him of his mission and certain times when they will be making interventions…

But here is the clue that sent me on this wild imaginative adventure:

Moses had a “God experience” on Mount Sinai around the 12th Century BC

Elijah had a “God experience” on the same Mount (Horeb is the other name of Mount Sinai) around the 9th Century BC

Transfiguration of Jesus happens on an unnamed mountain with these two men around 30 AD. Jesus never explained the presence of these men in that miracle to his disciples.

Could it be that time travel had brought these three men several centuries apart to meet and harmonize their strategies across time in the same place?

Crafting a Silver Bullet

I wrote a while ago about the need for a new social contract for Nigeria. Since then, a lot has been said in the media and other fora about the need to convene a sovereign national convention to determine the future and constitution of the Federal Republic.

A few questions and objections have also been raised, in two areas thus:

1. How feasible is it? – How would it be convened, moderated, and legitimized?
2. Wouldn’t it break up Nigeria? – If the different parts of the country are given the opportunity to discuss their commitment to a united nation, wouldn’t they just opt to walk away from the federation?
3. There is no silver bullet to Nigeria’s problems, why is this necessary?

Given that the subject of a social contract is inalienably connected to the subject of an autochthonous constitution, I am going address some of these issues in this piece.

First of all, for the purpose of context, a social contract is an intangible device intended to justify the appropriate relationship between individuals and their governments. Social contract arguments assert that individuals unite into political societies by a process of mutual consent, agreeing to abide by common rules and accept corresponding duties to protect themselves and one another from violence and other kinds of harm.

Therefore, a social contract captures the intangible values for which we are willing to come together as a collective and the conditions strong enough to justify our consent to relinquish our natural liberties or allegiances to a new collective order.

Think about it: What will make Nigeria a worthwhile project for you? Is it social attributes like peace, equality, security? Or are some economic thresholds important too? Which values, if not prioritized, will you consider to be deal breakers? What are you willing to contribute to make that Nigeria a reality? What do you expect others to contribute too? What kind of institutions would you trust to lead us in this collective project? How would these institutions  be empowered to lead? What commitments must these institutions make to you that serves as their mandate? What instruments do you believe will be sufficient to constrain these institutions, just in case they stray from their commitments?

A lot of this may have been done before, but we probably need to think about this again, or renew our commitment to the spirit of the work that has been done before.

This kind of thinking leads to a social contract. This is why a social contract precedes a constitution. It speaks to the very conditions under which the preamble to a people’s constitution – “We the people…” – can be said to be true.

Given the above thoughts, I believe the process of relaying the foundations of our federation should be in the following order:

1. Different interest groups begin to consult among themselves to establish the conditions for a social contract. For instance, the youth – particularly those active on social media – can establish a website to collate opinions on what should be the national set of values. This can lead to a statement of values and conditions.
2. A joint statement by the National Assembly appointing a “Committee of Experts” to gather views and submissions from the public.
3. The Committee will be mandated to engage in extensive consultations with the general public including multiple public hearings involving written and oral submissions.
   1. This is where different interest groups, like the youth in the example above, can come and make presentations or submissions.
   2. Submissions on values and conditions for a federation from different interest groups will speak to a social contract. The text of the new constitution must then be seen to conform to the values promoted by the majority of the people both in letter and in spirit.
4. The process can be supported by an act or whatever 1999 constitutional amendments enabling the National Assembly to engage in this unique process to solicit constitutional opinions from the people.
5. The mandate of the committee should include the consideration of the 1963 constitution as being the last known covenant entered into by the collective under no conditions of duress.
6. Following televised consultations with the public, the Committee will submit a draft text to the National Assembly for adoption.
7. Following adoption by the National Assembly, the text should now be subjected to a referendum to establish its sovereignty.
8. Like the 1963 constitution, the text of the new constitution can contain a transitional section that governs the smooth transition of structures, positions and entities from the 1999 constitution to the new dispensation.
9. The by-passing of the state houses of assembly is necessary because the existence of 36 different states with constitutional votes is not recognized by the last covenant that was effected under conditions of free will, hence these entities cannot confer sovereignty on the new text.

Would it break up Nigeria?

Frankly, I do not know this for sure, but I sincerely hope not. However, I believe that given the current situation in the country, it is important that the question of National Unity and the conditions for a federation should be put to the people’s court. There is no point saying “One Nigeria” if majority of Nigerians don’t want a federation. U cannot force a group of people to be united if they really don’t want to be. However, if what I believe bears out, an overwhelming vote in favor of conditional unity could be a very good boost to peace in the country.

There are many questions that remain and indeed even if this process is successful, there will still be more questions to answer. In that sense, there is no silver bullet. There are no solutions to national issues that you can apply, then sit back and watch all your dreams come true. That would be highly delusional. But a silver-bullet in terms of what could we do to get each other to come around on the same side of the table and start building this nation together in the same direction rather than in different ethnic or personal directions can exist. And this might just be our best shot at it.

Let me know what you think!

A Purpose for Government

Note: You should probably read my earlier blog posts as a background for understanding this one. Also, part 1 and part 2 of my recent article for YNaija!

pur·pose  (pûrps) n. – The object toward which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or a goal

“It is clear that government is an absolute necessity, and that the People must cede some of their natural rights in order to give it its essential powers” – Publius (John Jay) – Federalist Papers #2

I am writing this because I am convinced that the flawed process of the birthing of our Nigerian Federation robbed the people of a collective understanding and defining what Government really means and what it’s purpose should be. The end result is that, to the average citizen, the institution of government is mystified. Therefore, I am going to take the liberty to justify the need for a government from first principles – and in so doing, hopefully pass on the understanding of how a true need and purpose for government evolves from the expectations, sacrosanct values and the will of free citizens.

Let’s imagine that in this world with no government, I’m typing this article for you on my laptop right now. And let’s imagine that there’s a very large man–we’ll call him Blaze–who doesn’t especially like my writing, so he walks in, throws the laptop on the floor, stomps it into little pieces, and leaves. And before leaving, Blaze tells me that if I write anything else he doesn’t like, he’ll do to me what he did to my laptop.

Well, in doing that he just established something very much like his own government. It is now, as a matter of practice, against Blaze’s law for me to write things that Blaze doesn’t like. The penalty is severe, enforcement fairly certain (at least within this jurisdiction). And who’s going to stop him? Certainly not me; I’m smaller and less violent than he is.

But Blaze isn’t really the biggest problem in this no-government world anyway. The real problem is a really greedy, heavily armed guy–we’ll call him Kpoxalot–who has learned that if he steals money and then hires enough muscle with his ill-gotten gains, he can demand goods and services from every business in town, take anything he wants, and make almost anybody do whatever he says. And since there’s no authority higher than Kpoxalot that can make him stop what he’s doing, this jerk just literally created his own government–what political theorists refer to as a despotism, a government ruled by a despot (which is essentially just another word for a tyrant). In this kind of government, the power flows from the top to the bottom. Your rights are what the person at the top graciously extends to you.

If we don’t want Kpoxalot in charge, we have to all get together and agree to do something to prevent him from continuing to run our lives. And that agreement itself is a government.

In other words: The reason we come together to form citizen governments is to protect us from other, worse power structures that would otherwise form in our midst and deprive us of our rights (or sacrosanct values).

In order to do this properly, we must first define these rights and agree that we all need them protected. Then, we must design an institution, government, ensuring that this institution is capable of protecting (or guaranteeing the protection of) these rights. Then, we must mandate this institution to guard and promote these fundamental rights (and values) we have agreed on.

Hence, the most fundamental criteria for government is purpose.

It is this purpose, which if sufficiently aligned to what the people value, that will inform the willingness of the citizens to not only continue to empower their government by ceding to it some of their natural rights, but to continually watch and monitor this government to ensure it always represents what they value.

A government created, defined and constrained in this manner derives its power from the people and will be people oriented by origin and nature. In other words, the power would flow from the bottom to the top – not the other way around.

So here’s my assignment to you:

1. What was the purpose for forming and amalgamating Nigeria in 1914?
2. How was that purpose aligned with what the citizens value?
3. What was the social contract (constitution) that emerged out of the efforts of Nigeria’s self-government leading to 1960?
4. How different is that social contract from what we have in effect today? What are the reasons why?
5. What is your best guess of the most sacrosanct values of the citizens of the Federal Republic of Nigeria? Justify why you think these values are considered sacrosanct.

This is no JAMB or WAEC… no need for long essay. Just say what you know and what you think in the comment box below.

The Cost of Corruption & Kola (CoCK): Nigerian vs. Indonesian

A Nigerian and an Indonesian go to London as students in the 1960s and become friends. Forty years pass, and the university invites them back for an alumni meal. Retired and free to travel, they come, and on the night of the reunion the two old friends meet and, after sharing stories of their student days, invite each other to visit back at home. It is the year 2000.

The first to take up the offer is the Nigerian. He flies to Jakarta and is met at the the airport by his friend in a chauffeur-driven limousine. They drive to his friend’s home, a mansion on a hilltop with a large swimming pool and a dozen of rooms. Impressed, the Nigerian asks his friend how he had amassed his wealth.

“Well,” his friend replies, “I was permanent secretary at the Ministry of Works and Housing in Jakarta.”

“I hope you don’t mind me saying, but it must pay well, to be permanent secretary at the Ministry of Works and Housing in Jakarta,” says the Nigerian, with a smile, looking up at his friend’s large house.

The Indonesian looks around.

“Don’t tell anyone I said this, but do you see that road?” he whispers, pointing toward a highway leading back into the city, full of cars on the busy commute.

And when the Nigerian nods, he taps his chest, and says: “Ten percent.“

The next month, it is the Indonesian’s turn to visit Nigeria, and he flies to Abuja where he is met at the airport by his old friend, with a fleet of five limousines and police outriders. Driven at speed, they reach the Nigerian’s home in the hills outside the city 40 minutes later.

It is an even bigger place, a vast mansion of 40 rooms with three swimming pools, a cinema, and a bowling alley.

Astonished, the Indonesian stands on the terrace and looking at the Nigerian’s house and possessions, says, “You know when we talked, I never did ask what it was you did for a living.”

“Well,” says the Nigerian, laughing. “It is funny you ask, but I was permanent secretary at the Ministry of Works and Housing in Abuja.”

“I hope you don’t mind me saying so,” says the Indonesian, “but it must pay very well, to be permanent secretary at the Ministry of Works and Housing in Abuja.”

And the Nigerian points to an open expanse of scrub and farmland outside the city where people are trudging on foot, as poor as they ever were. And, in a voice loud enough for all to hear, he roars with laughter and booms: “See that highway there? One hundred percent!“

Nigeria and Indonesia share a lot in common – from size, diversity, culture, political history to oil. These two countries had the same outlook as at 1966 when both experienced similar coups within months of each other. But over the next four decades, the human development of both countries would diverge in opposite directions – worse for Nigeria and better for Indonesia.

In his book, My Nigeria, Peter Cunliffe-Jones attempts to illustrate reasons for this very interesting divergence. The anecdote above, culled from Chapter 11 of his book illustrates the different versions of corruption found in both countries.

Bubukov had a dream…

Yo peeps, this is Bubukov here… anyone mistaking me with Amara will get kicked in the groin by a midget!

So I had a dream yesterday… that I joined the Secret Delta Force of the Government (I know there’s nothing like that in real life… but yeah, in the dream it was some super secret shit). And I was the leader of the baddest ass squad in this Delta Force. So we were instructed to ensure that justice was done in the ABSU case.

Having been properly briefed and given our marching orders, we set out into the state of Abia to apprehend the animals who had so viciously molested this girl with impunity. After shaking down a few leads, we discovered the identity of 5 men involved in the rape. We nabbed all of them and bundled them into an unmarked black van (we were all wearing balaclavas). Once in the dark van, we blindfolded these boys and drove them for 10 hours into some lonely warehouse. There we dumped them on the floor and left them all tied up and blindfolded for another 12 hrs just to disorient them.

Having disoriented the animals, we brought them chairs and made them sit (still tied up) whilst they were subjected to watching the rape video that they had made – all the 1 hour and 36 minutes of it.

After they had watched the videos, I stepped up, behind the very bright kleig lights that we had shinning in their faces, and asked them a couple of questions. One of the questions I asked was: “How do you think that girl felt having animals, like yourself, have their way with her without her consent?”

As if their mumbled responses were a cue, I said to them “well, y’all are about to find out”.

Then I rolled in the 5 donkeys we had brought from a farm in Jigawa state. They were healthy studs and we had just given them spanish fly and paraga. They were in an eager state to mate.

I could see the trepidation in the face of the boys as they saw the instruments the donkeys were rolling with. But there was to be no reprieve for them.

As our camera rolled, each of the boys were strapped to a gym-horse and a donkey kpoxed the hell out of them.

…and then it was the turn of the next donkey… #round2 …. and the next donkey… until all the 5 donkeys had been exhausted… each one having its way with all the 5 boys. Each boy subjected to a “bow-legged” walk of shame in front of the camera after each donkey round.

Then we drove the geebags to an isolated part of the Benin-Ore express way… and dumped them there in the middle of the night… and uploaded all the donkey videos online anonymously.

…and I woke up.

 

Running with footmen…

Note: This update has links. Click them to reference some of the terms I have used that you may not understand or be familiar with.

If you have run with the footmen, and they have wearied you, Then how can you contend with horses? – Jeremiah 12:5

It is a common occurrence for a group of people living together at a certain time, or within a certain period to be completely oblivious of the significance of the times upon which they live. As events and incidents gradually unfold before their eyes, they are caught up in the mundane interpretations of the moment, unaware of the bigger picture – that a series of seemingly uncoordinated occurrences are adding up to forever change their destiny.

And as titanic interests line up against each other, those that will be most affected by the epic struggle continue to trudge on in blissful ignorance – blissful until they inadvertently end up as collateral damage.

Sometimes, what you think are your biggest problems are actually no problem at all. And in the time of need, you might actually realize that it is that which you despised that would have saved your skin.

I’m pretty sure that in the 1800s, the people who lived in what would eventually become the Federal Republic of Nigeria had many problems. From the small community issues to even larger inter-tribal skirmishes. There were little empires trying to expand, some kingdoms getting greedy. Your greatest fear was that the kingdom next door will suddenly attack you at night, kill your young men and steal your wives and goats.

They were oblivious of the fact that in far away Europe, there were bigger problems brewing. Powers that they had never encountered and did not anticipate had begun to decide their fate. Their land was being divided, the price for their young was being set and our destiny was being changed forever.

The horses are coming…

There have always been larger and titanic interests in the world – Principalities, endowed with the resources and the will to overrun any number of territories and plunder them. The ways and manner in which this has been done have varied, but from generation to generation these principalities have perpetuated and have locked horns with each other – and the grass has suffered.

In literature, news and history, these struggles have been chronicled in different forms: East vs West, Free men versus Slaves, Communism vs Capitalism, the Nazis vs everyone else. In each chronicle, one interest seeks the liberty and freedom of men whilst the other seeks to overrun their established order and impose on them constraints to the benefit of only a few.

Over the course of history, these epic struggles have had several turning points. Each turning point coming when a small group of seeming “insignificants” take a stand, realizing the true value of the assets committed to their stewardship. The cultured resistance of the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae in 480 BC was one of such moments – a combination of resolve, intellect and providence – capable of grinding the juggernaut that was the Persian Empire to a halt. The 300 Spartans did not win the battle – they were all killed – but their spirited resistance had demystified the Persian god king, creating a wave of motivation for other, hitherto despondent, opposition to take pot-shots.

In recent history, these enormous interests have played their roles again. It was over commodities like palm oil, gold, tin,cocoa and slaves that the scramble for Africa happened. It is no secret that the African conflicts that raged in the 80′s and 90′s in places like Angola, Liberia, Sierra Leone, DR Congo, Congo Brazzaville and later in Cote D’Ivoire were fueled by the desires of a few powerful interests to establish and maintain a global monopoly on the sale of diamonds. Although, in each of the specific instances, domestic differences and conflicts were escalated and exploited to create the semblance of local disputes. Yet the belligerents in the above mentioned conflicts continued to show up on the battle field with weapons too sophisticated for them to manufacture or otherwise afford.

In 1928, Sir John Cadman of British Petroleum, Sir Henry Deterding of Royal Dutch/Shell, Walter Teagle of Exxon and William Mellon of Gulf met at Cadman’s castle near Achnacarry, Scotland. Here an agreement was reached that would divide up the world’s oil reserves and markets.

The Achnacarry Agreement became known to oil industry insiders as the “As Is Agreement” because its aim was to maintain a status quo under which the Seven Sisters controlled the world’s oil through market share agreements, sharing of refining and storage facilities, and by agreeing to limit production to keep prices high.

One of the best ways to limit the production of natural resources is conflict. If there is conflict in the area where the resource is being produced, production will drop and prices will soar. The graph below shows the relationship between some recent conflicts and the price of oil:

Note how 9/11 triggered a record spike in oil prices...

In April, 2011, Dean Henderson in an article for the Center for Research on Globalization (http://www.globalresearch.ca) describes how the Seven Sisters transformed into Four Horsemen behind the oil wars.

Nigeria is responsible for 12-15% of US oil imports – the 5th largest exporter of oil to the US behind Canada, Mexico, Saudi Arabia and Venezuela. The strategic importance of Nigeria’s oil exports is often underplayed, yet even in the worst days of the Abacha dictatorship, it was impossible for the US to impose tough sanctions on Nigeria because such an action would have hurt the US more than it would hurt the late dictator.

Hence, if there are “Four Horsemen” seeking to dominate oil production in the world, then Nigeria will be very important. The strategic interests would have to be protected from the sudden whims of whoever it is that emerges as leader or local tin god in Nigeria… and some times, radical action will be required to ensure all ducks are in a row.

Nigeria has experienced problems in the oil-producing Niger Delta since the 1990s. However, following the emergence of Democracy in Nigeria, the conflicts escalated significantly with henchmen in the region suddenly gaining access to sophisticated battle technologies that they could neither manufacture or otherwise afford. It is worthy of note that the oil prices soared during this period, at one point reaching the dizzying heights of $100 per barrel. Oil majors were declaring record profits.

As the Boko Haram threat reaches dizzying heights, and while Nigerians are pre-occupied with mundane issues like blaming security agencies and government establishments – who we have all watched go completely rotten over three decades – the case is being gradually orchestrated for the need to introduce a stabilizing force of foreign source to secure the integrity and borders of the Nigerian enterprise.

To illustrate Nigeria’s predicament, I tell my friends a story about a small village located somewhere in a jungle, terrorized by man-eating lions. From time to time, the lions would strike and take either a goat, cattle or even children. And with each attack, the villagers would turn on each other to blame either the man who was supposed to be on guard (but fell asleep) or the youth who left the door open through which the lions crept in to inflict damage. Yet, night after night, the village was at the mercy of these marauders.

Then one day, in clear noon, the villagers saw the lions running towards the village. At first, they were scared and scrambled, but soon they noticed something strange… the lions were not running towards the village to attack it, they were seeking shelter!

And as the villagers looked in the direction of the jungle where the lions were running from… they beheld a horde Tyrannosaurs!

The CIA factbook lists the countries in the world with oil reserves ranked in the order of the volume of those reserves. Nigeria occupies an “enviable” 10th position in this ranking with about 37.5 billion barrels of proven reserves.

Just on top of Nigeria in that ranking, in 9th position is Libya.

Disclaimer: The rants on this blog update are covered by the Bubusian Blog Law I proposed in the beginning.

The Adventures of the Washers – The Oath of the Ferj a Nemferj

These are the chronicles of the great men of the Ancient Order of the Washers.
So the King, Baruch Okpabio chose these men from among the men of Sumeria:

Blazok, son of Ogirinya the warrior
Nnabloz the Chutite
Arinzev the Olukite
Anakin, the son of Aj
Kulata, the wise
Keblaade the Salamite
Skilobolo the Sheriphite
Maestrodamuz the Keluite
Festacus the son of Bubuzin and
Tomiz the Ladipite

And the King spake to them saying,
“Choose ye your territory and be Lord over it. For I shall have peace in my Land.”

When they departed from the presence of the King, the Washers assembled themselves together to determine the task before them. And the Blazok spake to the Washers thus:

“Behold let us share among us the women of Sumeria, according to their type. Lest there be war amongst us. For a man would be consumed by jealousy if his brother were to encroach upon his territory to administer ‘mosas’.”

And so it was that Blazok, the son of Ogirinya assigned unto himself all that were of blessed bosom. For such endowments pleased him greatly. Arinzev also assigned unto himself all that were of blessed hips and backside. For he declared that Blokkoz had appeared to him in a dream, charging him to be a worthy shepherd to women of such stature. Nnabloz was assigned to those with long hair. For Nerez the Prophetess had prophesied about him that he shall be entrapped by the long hair of a woman. Unto Festacus was given the mandate to comfort those in the colder lands of the North. Tomiz was given power to command the beauties of the warmer East. Unto Kulata was given the keys to those who were advanced in age. For King Baruch had decreed that they needed love too! Anakin was given to the virgins. Unto Keblaade was committed the territory of Laguza, a rich enclave of the finest Sumerian women. The Washers sent Skilobolo to the young and restless for he understood them.

And Maestrodamuz was greatly displeased that all the territories were taken, so he vowed to be the roaming washer, freely moving from territory to territory, sampling the fruits of beauty.

And so it was, that there was peace, for the Washers ministered unto the Sumerian women with zeal and devotion and there were few left that were not pleased.

But the wants of a woman are insatiable.

A time came that a group of Sumerian women named the “Nemferj” (I.e. Husbandless) came unto the King and protested heavily to him thus:

“Oh King, may it please you that we, the Nemferj, be recognized as a separate territory to the Washers, so that we might be allocated our own dedicated Washer to tend to our immense needs? For if our needs be not met nor our demands acceded to, we shall surely rebel against you and your kingdom shall fall.”

 

And the king, being distraught by this, journeyed to the isle of Utakoz, to the abode of Bubuzin, the great. And he sought counsel from the wise man. And when Bubuzin beheld the King, he welcomed him and charged virgins to wash his feet. But the King was still distraught. And Bubuzin demanded of the King, to know the matter that vexed him. And the King told Bubuzin of the demands of the Nemferj.

And Bubuzin laughed.

Then, having finished rolling on the floor with laughter, the Great Bubuzin spake to the King thus:

“Behold, oh wise and great King, this matter shalt not be a long thing. For this was foretold by the great Oracle of Utunu. Only he that hath sworn the eternal oath of Ferj a Nemferj can satisfy the Nemferj! Go, oh King. Summon unto you the Washers and demand a man, willing to sacrifice himself for this cause. For a man under the oath shalt not take a woman in marriage until his lips betouch the bossom of a Tarok virgin. If there be a volunteer, place him under the oath. If there be none, kill all the washers!”

And the King was pleased with the Great Bubuzin and gave unto him chests of gold and diamonds and many precious stones.

So the King did as he was told. And behold, Blazok, the son of Ogirinya volunteered himself for the cause. And he swore a great oath to the Nemferj and the Nemferj accepted him.

From then onwards, he was known as the Ferj a Nemferj, that is, The Husband to the Husbandless.

(Amara’s disclaimer – This blog update was brought to you by the stupid Bubukov. I’ve been taking my pills, but he won’t go away.)